Today we had our adoption orientation with the agency we are working with in Texas. It was from 8:45am to 4:30pm. I would like to say that as I sit in the hotel business center it is 5:15pm. I have so many thoughts and emotions surrounding today that I
HAD to get it all out. John and I got back to the hotel room a little bit ago. Called to check in on Flex and Laila (our boxers) and then immediately, I said to John "I have got to go write about this". I have mentioned it before and today is no different. Blogging is my therapy....my journal. I can't process information this big without an outlet and for this experience in my life, my outlet is my blog.
I'll go on an answer the question you all are wondering. You live in Mississippi, why on Earth are you working with a Texas based adoption agency that is 8 hours from your home? Well the answer is simple. We feel that this agency offers so much to birth and adoptive parents from the beginning throughout. This agency provides a dormitory for birth moms who want to use it. They provide financial assistance if needed to those birth moms who are unable to take advantage of the dormitory option for whatever reason (ex. if they have other children to care for, if they have a huge support system at home, if they don't want to leave their pets, if they need to keep a job and can't move to the dorm). This to me is a huge reason we chose this agency. We also decided to go with this agency because of the extended care that is offered to all families, birth and adoptive, that continue after a placement of the child. They continue to provide services to these families for life! Counseling, searching for birth parents, future adoptions, and much more. It is because of these reasons why we chose to work with them. With all of that being said.....How did today go?
John and I arrived at the agency this morning and were given a table number. I roughly counted 12 tables with 6 people (3 couples) at each table. We were seated at a table with a couple from Louisiana and a couple from Kentucky. The morning started off with a brief introduction on the program and what to expect out of the day. We were then broken up into groups. I think our group had about 14 people in it. All were married couples. Our group session lasted about 2-21/2 hours. I am guessing because I wasn't paying attention to the time but when we dismissed, it was lunch. In this group, we had a case worker tell us about the process
BEGINNING TO END. We went through it all with exception to the financial aspect. We talked about how the process would go from initial application to finalization of the adoption. It was very extensive and incredibly informative. This will be no surprise to those of you who know me well...but I left out of that room thinking to myself, "I want to work here. I want to do this kind of good for people on a daily basis!"
Next we had lunch and then went back into the big room as one group. From there we went over the social media and financial part of it. This section to me was less about the finances and more about the tax credit and the fact that it may not be available post 2012. I would have liked to see a little more about funding adoption, ways to fundraise, ways to network....Maybe we were the only ones in there not rolling in money and wondering "How do we pay for this and not go broke?", who knows?!?!
Next, we watched a video a birth mother and adoptive family agreed to film documenting their experience. It was touching. I expected to be a blubbering mess and surprisingly, I was not....neither was John, equally surprising.
Immediately after the video, we got to hear 2 pregnant birth moms that are currently matched with families. We got to hear their story, their expectations, their fears, their hopes, dreams, and most importantly their love for their babies. John and I both teared up a little but really did not cry. This was mainly because our table was positioned in a way that the birth mothers were staring directly at us. We both felt that they were tearing up and if we started crying or sobbing even, we might cause them to as well So, by the grace of God, we were able to listen tentatively and not be a mess, that is a big deal for us! :)
We next heard, in more detail, the services that the "Family Services" team provides each family for life. Yes, I said LIFE. Any questions or concern we or our child EVER have about adoption, the birth family, coping, grief, loss, or even family tree projects can be directed to them at no additional cost. That sounds like we will have TONS of support.
A family from Texas that had recently experienced a successful adoption with the agency 10 months ago, came and told us about their journey and how the process unfolded for them and about how they are positive that all the waiting they did was because the child that God picked for them was not born until this past April. They had one birth mother change her mind in the hospital after delivery and were devastated and were able to stand up there today and testify to us that they were thankful to her for changing her mind because if she had not, the precious baby they now call their daughter would not be in their lives.
Then, we were able to hear the lawyer that works with the agency talk about the legal process start to finish. I really won't bore you here unless you just have specific questions but basically, our fears were laid to rest in this portion.
We then, took a tour of the campus. Here, we were able to see some of the adoption fee money at work. The dorms are beautiful, the girls look so well cared for and most importantly, happy. They have a courtyard with a pool where they can have their family and support system come to visit and cookout. They have activities planned as well as group and individual counseling sessions planned. They can leave to work or go to school. All at no cost. NONE. It is a really amazing place. It is a safe place that facilitates healing and growing. It was such a joy to see these girls so well cared for in such a trying time in their lives.
Then we basically just had an open session for questions. We did have two that we asked in private after the session. Here are the questions we asked and the answers we received.
Q: What happens to the adoption fee that we pay if a private adoption just falls in our laps? (I mean after all, we are following God's plans for our lives, what if that is what he has in store for us?)
A: The money can go towards a decreased fee if we were to ask this agency to facilitate our adoption even if in another state, OR it can go towards the cost of a future adoption.
Q: If we purchase the $300 application booklet (literally a 1 inch binder FULL of forms to fill out), how long do we have to turn it in since the first 25% of the application fee is due then?
A: You have 3 months to turn the application in. If you are unable to come up with the money at that time, your position (basically your "take a number") is forfeited, meaning you get bumped behind new applicants who are able to pay immediately. They asked that we just keep them informed of our wish to stay in the program and the status of our fee payment.
John and I went into this orientation saying we would not purchase an application right away and left having
PURCHASED AN APPLICATION!! We just felt compelled to do so. We followed our hearts and did it. So, information overload today. Lots of reading, filling out forms, writing, and
FUNDRAISING to come!!
Here is a breakdown of the fees owed:
Based on your income level, a fee is scheduled....
Our adoption fee is
$27,500. This is broken down into 3 payments:
- $6,875 (25%) is due at the time application is turned in. 3 months from TODAY!
- $13,750 (50%) is due at the time of approval. Approval happens once the homestudy is complete and reviewed. This could be as early as 6 months from now.
- $6,875 (25%) is due once you are matched. This could be any time about 6 months after homestudy is approved.
In addition to the adoption fee, we are looking at
$2,800 associated with having the homestudy completed, reviewed, and updated every year.
$1,500 for finalization of the adoption (this happens 6 months after the baby is in our home).
$400+ to create a profile (photo book for the birth mom to look through as an introduction and way of "picking you") and for a 1-800# where the birth mother can contact you to form a relationship. In addition to all of this, there are travel expenses to and from Texas. This will cost anywhere from
$500-$1,200 per trip we should expect to make about 5 trips. So, in case you lost track of all of that, I am detailing it all on my Fundraising page.
All-in-all, this was a very productive, mind-blowing, kick-in-the-gut trip. We were comforted in the accommodations provided to all families, astonished and frightened at the speed in which
$ is due, and excited to be one step closer to having our baby in our arms!
All I can say after this is....you see our concerns
PRAY FOR US AND PRAY THAT GOD WILL PROVIDE THE FINANCES NECESSARY to bring this baby into our home without wiping out our accounts.
